I managed to get some rest in last night. Which is good because my day started out with a BANG! Got the kids up and out the door for school only to come home and have to make my oldest get ready for school. I don’t understand where I am going wrong…. He knows he has to go to school. He is very smart and pulls in excellent grades. It’s like pulling adult teeth to get him motivated to go to school though. I have tried punishments and threats of going to school with him in the most hideous pj’s ever, my hair a greasy mess, and no makeup. Still no motivation 😦 He seems to hate school. He begs me to move him away from here. I know there have been problems with bullying in the past, although that has seemed to have passed. I am at a loss. I am going to enter him back into counseling but I am not sure that is the answer either. I do not want his brains and talents lost. So my adventure begins with trying to help him over this hump… I know I am not alone in this world dealing with this issue. I also know that many parents would feel blessed if this was the worst thing they had to worry about. But this is my problem. It’s a very large problem that I deal with often. What is the next step? I just want to curl back up in bed and pretend that life doesn’t exist until 2PM when my day really begins. What’s so special about 2PM? Well that’s when I start picking kids up from school, making dinner, help with homework, travel to practices, get kids bathed, and everyone in bed. It wears me out just thinking about it. It’s about 7 hours of jam packed crazy. Today will be a success if I manage to survive another day with my sanity in tact 🙂
I am starting this blog today in hopes of completing my next adventure…. What is that adventure? Finding myself, again. To some of you that makes no sense at all. To others, you completely understand 🙂 lol I am a single mom of 5 amazing kids who keep me so busy I don’t know which end is up a majority of the time. So where do I start? Even better question, how do I start? I hope that having this blog will be a start of healing and revelation for me. So stick around and enjoy my view of just wanting to survive…….
So many people say you should live life not merely survive. I say I live my life by surviving. It’s auto-pilot that gets me through every day. There are 2 to 5 practices every evening. Let’s not forget PT twice a week, added meetings, games and/or matches, traveling for the games, dinner, homework, and bathing…. Plus, in the middle of the week the youngest 3 have a 3 hour visit at their father. I know I am in a tough spot right now. I don’t know how I am able to work. The thoughts are overwhelming at times. I do manage quite well on what I have. I have became a very frugal person in comparison to what I used to be when I worked in the medical field and made descent money. I really try not to focus on money (try doing that with 2 teens in the house lol) I try to make the most out of life every day. I accept where I am at right now and enjoy the time I have left here on Earth as much as I can. Some days that is extremely hard to do. The difference in me and lots of others… I admit my shortcomings. I hit rock bottom a few years ago with my depression and anxiety (That story is for another time) in doing so I had an amazing therapist that taught me it was ok, I was not alone, and the best way to heal and stay whole was to talk about it. I will have to say getting things out in the open is very liberating!!! I don’t believe that everything is for everyone’s ears, but I do feel that things have a time and a place. People need to be more open and honest with themselves and others. In my opinion that is a huge part of a problem in our society today. Admitting faults = weakness…. Who in the heck is perfect???? But we are taught at a young age to hide the faults and blemishes by changing ourselves to become part of the “status quo” . It’s ridiculous. I laugh though because I was one of those people for so long. I was the smart, pretty, varsity cheerleader, who was going to go somewhere in life and make everyone proud. Where did I end up? I tell everyone “Don’t be me! I am the poster child for what not to do!” But I have survived the worst. I am still here and I am happy that I am. I would hate to miss the growing and milestones my kids are reaching daily for anything. They truly are my life.
This is my latest adventure. I hope that this blog can reach someone out there and helps them to find strength and hope knowing that they are not alone. My hopes are that through sharing my life’s up’s and down’s I find myself. I once again find my happiness and calling in life. Some may shake their heads. The rest of you… you get it! I am a single mom of 5 amazing kids. They keep me so busy I often times don’t know which end is up. I am so blessed they are happy and healthy kids. Life has been so full of lemons, there are times I am freaking tired of making lemonade!!! I have been presented with one road block after another…. WHEN IS IT MY TURN???? So many people ask that same question every day…. I am ready for a new adventure. This year is full of major life decisions to be made. But most of all I just want to survive….