A Better Day

Struggles of yesterday I have slept off and then sweat off outside working in the yard.   I try to not agonize over the schedule for the week. There’s nothing I can do about it… So I breathe! 

This evening and planning tomorrow is all that is really relevant at this point.  That and the 75 tadpoles my children brought home today 😂 seriously I need something else to tend to right? Lol SMH…….  Ohhhhhh how I love my children and the joy they have over small things. 

Being a single mom never has a dull moment…!

Tears

As I set here there is a smile,

Insind the stabbing pain you will never see,

I walk away they come,

The tears

Empty, no one can touch me I am so far away

I hear everyone 

No one can hear the screaming and crying pain deep within 

It cries tears that could flood the planes 

You see nothing 

I reach out with subtle words you never hear

I am alone

With my tears

Parent Party of 1

I’m inbetween games setting in my car… Hiding. From what? Idk mostly myself I think. It’s been a really rough year. 

I applied to college again. Got in everywhere had everything straight and WHAMMM life hits me in the face and reminds me who’s really in control. Sooooo…. I opted for distance courses which didn’t work either with the hey mommys, mom I forgot, Im sick, and I have a game or I have practice. 

Yeah I am a failure in your eyes (even with a degree and a board certified license) yet I can’t do any better because its parent party of 1!!!  

The fighting has been rough. Your words cut me into pieces. Heck yeah I am a looser. I have lost everything except my faith in God. 

My faith hasn’t kept me from sliding backwards some. Loosing has taken its toll on me. I battle back which keeps me above water…..  It’s the days under without breathing that hurts.