Goodbye Year of….

Thank goodness only a few more hours left. Praying next year brings a lot more of everything good there is to be had. This year was relentless with those being offended and those hurt by nothing really they just want to bitch. Our own president is bitching because he doesn’t get praise for every small thing he does.

My parents taught me you do things quietly and without hopes of praise. You try and leave the world in a better place than you left it. Don’t give more than you can handle but know give with an open heart because there is always someone in worse shape than you are. Not how people do anymore it’s crazy!!! People are so selfish and “deserving”.

Sorry, not sorry, that you are offended of monuments that defined this country you lived in. Maybe they believed in slavery but some people are a product of their upbringing. You don’t like the black policeman the white one either? They protect you equally if there is trouble. Sigh, the list goes on and on

The End Is Near

I have finally married the man of dreams. You know the one girls- the one who does laundry, dishes, loves the heck out of the kids, and can cook so good it makes you melt like butter. When he’s down I’m up and vice versa. We hold hands on walks and have stimulating conversations.

We have had the perfect relationship….. until we didn’t.

Together we have 6 kids. The official Brady Bunch! Five of those kids are mine. When we got married the only logical thing to do was to move us to his hometown. It’s larger with millions of opportunities and better schools and sports. Plus, he has a steady job here and his son goes to a special needs school geared to his disability, which isn’t an option in my hometown. So I sold my home and we combined households.

Except we haven’t. I have been in the never ending battle to get my kids moved a little over an hour up the road. It’s been mentally and physically draining.

Arguments are inevitable in any relationship. With the added stress and strain after nearly 8 months we have both cracked. I know the courts are to consider what’s best for the children but I believe they should consider everyone in family court. That’s a whole other issue.

He’s became more aggressive during arguments. He enters personal space in a threatening manor. He doesn’t hit me or grab me to hurt me physically. Mentally it’s taking a huge toll on me. I have been in so many abusive relationships I just can’t handle even the tiniest of things.

I have no clue how to overcome it. I see the progression of his agitation and aggression. I know where those road lead.

Yes, we have discussed counseling. Absolutely it’s our only hope. Mr. Perfect can’t see his flaws he believes he nails every situation it’s me that has the issues. He’s half right.

I am ready to run. That’s what I am trained to do. I have been in mentally, physically, and sexually abusive relationships I know how to diffuse most situations. I then build up walls no one could overcome if they tried their hardest.

This is why I truly believe the end is near.