A Hit & A Miss

So today was full of studying for board exams. That was until I got the call. I have went crazy and decided to go on and do a bridge BSN-MSN program. I had intended to start in the fall but it plays out I will start the day I take my board exams.

I stop and ask myself what the heck am I thinking? Then I tell myself I want more! If I can get thru that ADN program I can without a doubt get thru to my Masters.

I am excited and scared. I didn’t even begin to consult my husband. At the end of the day this is about me. What I want! Selfish and blunt as it gets.

After that call I talked to my son who was taking the TEAS today (which is the exam you have to pass to be accepted into any nursing school). He was a wreck. I have tried every avenue to help him. He buckled down harder than I have ever seen. He failed the science part yet I am still proud of him.

However, I know what a blow it was to him and I worry about his mental health and if he will stand up, dust off and give it another try. I pray he does and commits to studying harder. The environment his in and the people he surrounds himself with aren’t amazing though. He’s 21 but has a ways to go in growing up as all guys do. I’m still so proud of him for attempting this feat.

My youngest did her homework today! Again another huge accomplishment. She has really struggled this last 9 weeks. So we took a trip to target. I got my grandfather’s car so I would have my own ride for a while. Well on the way it broke down in the middle of the road. I managed to finally get it started and moving enough to limp it to the gas station. But who knows what’s wrong with it.

I feel so trapped without my own vehicle at this point. I’m so sad my husband won’t go get a car somewhere. But why should he? He uses the other all the time. He has basically taken it over I am not even allowed to go to the gas station without an explanation and time when I will be back. No trips to see anyone no get away. Just stuck. I’m very mad and very sad. But I say nothing because it would just become a fight. So I’m silent.

So today was huge! A total hit and a miss.

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