Exhausted

I just can’t make it stop…. It feels like my heart his ripping thru my chest. I can’t catch my breath. The pain is crushing. What is going on? I am just sitting here in silence.

The existence of anxiety adds to my anxiety. Knowing that this isn’t logical drive the stress higher. I stop and think about what could be the driving force and there are no explanations. I just continue on.

I wake with it and go to sleep with it most days. One medication doesn’t work fast enough to catch it and even then just knocks off a slight edge. The other medication knocks me out which can’t happen in my world. The prescription I know works they won’t prescribe it thanks to people who abuse drugs.

What caused me to get to this point? It has been 23 years of terror. Physical, sexual and mental abuse on myself and my children. I have tried so hard to protect them and yet they still have went thru hell. Now I am broken…. Exhausted.