My marriage quite frankly is not good. So much of me would rather walk away. I tell myself I would be better off. I feel used and exhausted. I feel like my feelings are discounted and my past is used against me.
This is my last effort to change myself for my marriage. Part of me doesn’t even know why I want to try after the last 4 years. The other part of me doesn’t want to let the man I somehow love walk away. I’m very torn.
Many years ago I was going thru my second divorce. I found the Love Dare and bought it with full intentions of using it. I did not. Today I was cleaning out my garage in a fit of anxiety as well as anger. I found myself in totes full of memories. In the process, I find my book. I quickly realized this was why God motivated me to clean and organize at least half of the garage.
I have made a pact with the big man in the sky to complete the Love Dare at all cost. It won’t be an easy challenge. I like to speak my mind and know I find faults in the tiniest of things. However, I am committed to changing myself. I want to be a better wife and a better person. I want the good Lord to guide me and work within me. I have faith that with HIS grace, mercy and strength I will get thru this challenge and we can save our marriage.
So instead of journaling in the book I will be posting my endeavors here. Wish me luck and say some prayers for me.
I Just Want To Survive 